Superboy / Kon-El (
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ya_assemble2015-02-01 06:55 pm
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[LN] Wascally Wabbits?
The Black Forest was one of few forests left in the world that was still a place of strong magic. That's what Bunny had said at least and as soon as they started walking through, Kon was pretty sure why. It was misty and somewhat dark, like something out of a fairy tale. Very moody.
Which made sense, given the Brothers Grimm were from Germany. Kon half remembered something from English class about Little Red Riding Hood being inspired by the Black Forest.
What had brought them there was a critter roundup. Apparently both the Weisse Frauen - the white ladies, and the moss people of the forest had sent a message to the Guardians to ask for help. A strange beast was roaming the forest, one with glowing red eyes that moved in a flash of white and red. So far it'd restrained itself to only killing animals like wild boar for food but they were afraid it would soon turn its attention on the small sentient creatures of the forest since it seemed to be able to see them. Considering it'd also taken on a lynx or two and won they were afraid of what would happen if it turned its sights on them.
So there they were, going critter hunting, and if they removed the creature from the woods the moss people and white ladies, who'd taken a neutral stance against Kuk, would owe them a few favors. Which was definitely nothing to sneeze at. They desperately needed any edge against Kuk they could get.
"Be vewwy vewy quiet, we're hunting el chupacabra," Kon joked as he and Mikey crept through the brush, clutching a bag full of steaks in his hand. They were already nearly thawed. "It's probably not actually a chupacabra, though. Unless it missed a left turn at Albuquerque."
Which made sense, given the Brothers Grimm were from Germany. Kon half remembered something from English class about Little Red Riding Hood being inspired by the Black Forest.
What had brought them there was a critter roundup. Apparently both the Weisse Frauen - the white ladies, and the moss people of the forest had sent a message to the Guardians to ask for help. A strange beast was roaming the forest, one with glowing red eyes that moved in a flash of white and red. So far it'd restrained itself to only killing animals like wild boar for food but they were afraid it would soon turn its attention on the small sentient creatures of the forest since it seemed to be able to see them. Considering it'd also taken on a lynx or two and won they were afraid of what would happen if it turned its sights on them.
So there they were, going critter hunting, and if they removed the creature from the woods the moss people and white ladies, who'd taken a neutral stance against Kuk, would owe them a few favors. Which was definitely nothing to sneeze at. They desperately needed any edge against Kuk they could get.
"Be vewwy vewy quiet, we're hunting el chupacabra," Kon joked as he and Mikey crept through the brush, clutching a bag full of steaks in his hand. They were already nearly thawed. "It's probably not actually a chupacabra, though. Unless it missed a left turn at Albuquerque."
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He'd had to ask for a translation, but . . .
"What kind of a name is that? That would be like calling me the Pizza Eater. Or the . . . the Kraang Krusher. With a K."
No Mikey, definitely Pizza Eater.
He shrugged off the uninspired naming conventions of Mexican folklore. "Anyway, that looks like a good tree to hide in while we're on this steak out." He paused. "Geddit? Because we're using steaks?"
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"Yeah, looks good to me," he said, dumping the steaks unceremoniously in the middle of the clearing, dropping the bag next to them, and flying up towards one of the thicker branches of the tree. There were two of them near each other so each of them could have their own.
He'd have armpitted Mikey but armpitting was always uncomfortable and he figured he could ninja his way up there.
There were enough branches in the way to make them pretty hard to see up there. Since they didn't smell much as myths, hopefully the creature wouldn't be able to smell them either. So all they had to do was keep nice and silent and it would never know what hit it.
"It's goat-sucker because it's like a goat vampire. No people, just goats. And maybe cows."
All they had to do was keep nice and relatively quiet and it would never know what hit it.
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Mikey bounced from tree to tree until he could flip onto a branch beside Kon.
"It has no poetry. It's uninspired. Now I'd give it a cool name, like . . . Dracugoat. Or Nosfergoatus. Count NYAA-cula!"
He made the loudest goat noise he could. Hey, maybe it would help lure the creature.
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He paused, then added, "I like Nosfergoatus the best. Let's just pretend that's what they're called now."
He liked Mikey. He was very high energy, low attention span, goofy sense of humor, really sweet kid underneath the goofiness...
Basically, he was like Bart. A whole lot like Bart. And after going for so long without seeing him, it was nice to be around someone like that. .
"You know, you remind me of a friend of mine," he said, looking upward. "And I mean that in a good way."
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Who else would Mikey remind Kon of?
"You remind me of the brother I never had who appreciates real humor. Hah! Steak out."
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Kon looked off in the distance, his expression fond.
"There was one time I was fighting this guy who was so powerful that multiple teams of superheroes were trying to take him down and were barely even making him break a sweat. He killed a couple people - a couple good people, and he especially had it in for me. They all came to stop him from basically beating me to death 'cause the guy had a world-class grudge against me for basically no reason. And Bart - that's my friend - even though he was always goofy and laid back and stuff, someone you'd think could never be serious and look out for somebody, he came breezing in and he and some of the other speedsters hit the guy trying to kill me so hard they basically all got knocked into another dimension."
He looked over at Mikey. "Saved my life."
He added casually, "I died again later but in a way where I was able to get revived in a very convoluted way but if I'd died then, when Bart saved me, I might not have been able to get brought back."
If his body hadn't been intact...
"Anyway, you and him would definitely get along."
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Mikey was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to process all that.
"Dude, you died? So, is heaven a thing? Cause if it's not made of candy, I don't know, maybe someone should tell God they're not doing it right."
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"I don't really remember it. I don't know if it's because nothing's there or it's just not something you bring back with you. I do know that when I was dying I felt really cold. Partly because we were at the north pole but I think that was just the dying, too. But towards the end it felt like I was going somewhere...warmer."
He shrugged.
"I don't know if that's because I was going to a better place or just because I felt comforted, though. See, I'd - I'd had like a mind control thing happen a little while before that, where I hurt my friends, and I'd found out half my DNA comes from like one of the worst supervillains ever. I felt like I was a bad hero and a bad person, like I was all rotten inside because of it. But the reason I died was fighting the same bad guy that had tried to kill me before and I saved the world pretty much. So I don't know if the warm feeling was where I was going or just feeling comforted that I finally knew I'd been wrong to feel all rotten inside. Because I finally realized how stupid it was that I blamed myself for the bad stuff that was done to me and I was comforted by my girlfriend being there with me."
He still wasn't sure. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to be sure until someday it happened again.
"So I dunno. I'm in total agreement about the candy, though."
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He shook his head. "Dude, you are like, the LAST person who should feel rotten about himself. You saved the world, AND your jokes are bomb! I mean, who cares where you come from, right? I'm like, pretty sure me and Raph came from PetCo, but that didn't make us the super awesome ninja heroes we are today. We did that."
Pause.
"Well, I mean, us and sensei and some alien mutation goo, but the point is, it's not the pet shop you come from, man, it's the bomb-diggity hero you become after, right?"
Mikey slapped Kon on the back for friendly encouragement. It was mega stupid that someone as cool as Kon should ever feel down on himself.
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He mimicked a short conversation: "'So how've you been since the brainwashing?' "A lot better, I'm almost sure I actually have a soul now because my friend used her scary shadow magic so I could take a look inside myself.' 'Good. Good to hear.'"
He shook his head.
"But yeah, you're right. Doesn't matter what wild animal you mutated from or what test tube you were grown in - which is my case what with the clone thing. It's all in what you choose. And I've - I got in a bad situation and made some bad choices before I got here but this is my second chance. Nico made it so I don't have to go back to that."
He could be a hero again if he tried hard enough, if he found some way - any way - to stop blaming himself for what had been done to him during Project Gladiator.
"So, right on, green bean."
He held out his hand for a bro fist.
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Yup, Kon was good people.
"You're good people, Superdude. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
Mikey sat back on the branch, dangling his feet back and forth like a little kid.
"So how long until Nosfergoatus shows up anyway? I mean, I know steakouts take a while, but I'm kinda worried if I'm gone too long, the elves will elect a NEW new king."
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And Superdude worked. He was fine with that.
"I agree on that friendship thing, too, little dude." This guy was great. And someday, maybe far down the line, he might manage to spring him on Robin. When that day came, that'd be hilarious. "As for how long this is going to take, that I don't know. Especially since we don't know what it is. We don't even know if the steaks will work since it might only like to eat live stuff. We've still got a while before dark, though, so if it doesn't show by then, we ought to pack it in and try again tomorrow."
Staying there after dark wasn't exactly the brightest idea what with the fearlings and other uglies going bump in the night.
"I'm sure the elves won't commit high treason in the meantime."
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Mikey considered this carefully, as the silence of the Black Forest fell upon them, free of the sounds of a carnivorous myth monster.
"So, what do you do for FUN in your world? Besides not-die, ha! We try not to do that in ours." Mikey sobered, just a little bit. "Because dying kinda sticks there."
Like Sensei's poor wife, who must've been a real nice lady.
And like Sensei . . . if Mikey decided to believe that Splinter was dead after all. It wasn't like Karai had come back from the dead, she'd just . . . never been as dead as Sensei had thought. Sensei could always have survived. He was mega tough, mega skilled, and he'd kept them all alive this long . . .
Yeah, Mikey was content to assume for as long as he could that Splinter was not as dead as it was possible for a person to be. And Splinter would totally be happy to hear that Mikey was having such a good time saving the known universe, making good friends, being a role model and a source of comfort for little kids who thought he was totally not a freak and totally great.
Why focus on the scary, sad stuff, when there was so much good stuff to think about?
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"Well, me and my friends all enjoy punching supervillains, generally, but we also throw secret parties in Superman's Fortress of Solitude. He's the guy I'm half cloned from - the other guy being his archnemesis, Lex Luthor. So imagine like you were sneaking a party in your dad or your teacher's den or something that he never lets anybody else into."
Heh, that had always been fun. Other than the time Batgirl had been sick all over the bathroom floor and he forgot to clean it up. Luckily, Superman had just assumed it was Krypto.
"And also my friend who you remind me, Kid Flash, he tends to drag us into stuff all the time. Like one time we went joyriding in Batman's jet because my friend Robin was dumb enough to let him drive. Batman's my friend Robin's mentor and he so serious. He's like the most serious superhero. So taking his stuff for a joyride and letting Kid Flash steer it was near suicidal. Also I play with my dog, Krypto. He likes to play fetch with trees and manhole covers."
On account of the superpowers.
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Mikey paused.
"I do have Ice Cream Kitty, though, and he's exactly what it sounds like he is." Mikey brightened. "Basically the best cat ever. Anything better is scientifically impossible."
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Just clarifying.
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